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The Blue Pill

by Weftin

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1.
Blue Pill 02:39
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It was all a dream It was never meant for me Inhale the smoke Shatter rose colored glasses At the end of every day I take one to numb the pain Me to myself - total irreverence To live in blissful ignorance Me? I'm alright I'll be just fine I knew there'd come a time Where we'd all be Here I knew there'd come a time Where we'd have to persevere The same mistakes Will we live on? I need help
2.
Grow 03:04
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It's like it was never ever gonna be meant to be A life lived so raw and perfectly A path clean streamlined to a pot of gold A single strand in the fray of the strongest rope But now I struggle huddled deep with a pad and a pen Inventory for the shrink in my good feelings And I ask "why should I bother?" As I wake for the day As I glue another piece back on the image of me So hard to see Doubleback, this time your are alone Too much time spent on your phone And the drugs and the drinks and the sex and the sweat ate you right down to the bone And it feels like it's forever, like it's never gonna change But we'll never take a shot if we don't try to take an aim So just go and do what you want to do Everything has a price and the vice is loose, long as you find your why Yeah I know we have regrets But we're all trying our best So just pull yourself together And stand closest to your friends We're not perfect The petals cover what's beneath the cracks Everybody has a seed, try to find out what you need Every flower blossoms in due time I will grow
3.
Saudade 03:51
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Well I take one in the morning To make it alright That tan little tablet of mine And when it creeps in the night I swallow one more of white To dream away to sleep No I cant relate to your pleasant upbringing All the things I have seen The wounds are still stinging Yet I still long for a light That pierces warmth like a knife To my core Forevermore I got some things That I'd like to say But I keep them to myself Lest I get carried away And I don't know if it's true But if it's out there, then I'll pull through I work my mouth to the crowd But my tongue called in sick And I knew it was a later shift They say it's normal to play Your hand as best as you can But let's be real - when was the last time you had a full deck? Between the idea And reality Between all the motions The dreamer is me The day the world ends Is the same we awake Life is but a dream I got some friends That I'd like to keep All the rest went away Cuz the problem was me And I don't know what to do But if it's real, then I'd like to do this all with you
4.
Just Like That 02:11
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You're down and out And you're burning up Too much staying in Is bringing you down Everyone you know They love you so All your witty jokes Lift them up And just like that You're thinkin of death You ran so far But now you're out of breath It's just a ruse you use to hide all your abuse And just like that You quit How's your life at home? Do you need to talk About the things they've said About the things they done Can you tell the truth Like you tell your jokes Are you loved the same As you love? And just like that You're thinkin of death You ran so far But now you're out of breath It's just a ruse you use to hide all your abuse And just like that I'll be here for you
5.
Waiting / Waning 03:44
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I'm bleeding outside the inside of me Full of all the dying dreams in my head on repeat And I guess its my thing just to accept defeat Build my hopes into towers, crumble to my feet And at the end of the day, lying in the debris Is myself by myself in a self-dying need I dont want to progress but I'm bearing the weight Of regret I beget within the whole gamut Its the.. first thought awake and the last before bed Sleeplessness on the shoulders, crowd in empty heads Pawing in darkness for an explanitive light I want it so bad but I'm failing the fight My paitience vs. I, and its eye for an eye Playing this game, an inevitable lie Waiting on futures that may only be dreams An unfathomable want that I wish was a need Waning away, its in my blood-flow Pour out of me, its just an average show Hate, rain on me
6.
Where I'm At 04:02
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And as I pen these final lines Has it passed or was that time? The cavity that I've been pulling at How... is this how it feels? Now... wipe the lens & dry the tears At the end of the day I'm by myself I and I alone, the only ones who can help I can't relate To your family Where I'm at right now I just wanna be set free From all the things that give me pain Instead of saying sorry Show them all an apology You can run for miles but eventually you'll walk And you'll see the taste of change is awful lot like blood Rushing up and down just to get it done But If you move too fast, you'll make more problems Making what you need into what you want Is the best way to be the change you wanna see At the end of the day I'm by myself I and I alone, the only ones who can help I can't relate To your family Because I can't be What they want me to be And at the end of the day, they'll always feel the rage You'll always be the bad guy Yeah you fucked it all and they all saw you fall No change will change their minds Don't beg them back, don't have a plan of attack Make the changes for yourself Do the best you can to pave a better path Because your best is all you got You are your own hero I'm not making the same mistake twice I must move on I will rise above and I'll try not to fall I will live on

about

The Blue Pill... a blissful ignorance to the pain of the world. A mind-numbing mindset to keep you happy even when you shouldn't be. Some like to refer to it as "optimism" or "hope" - but to me, it's a pill I swallow every morning.

2023 has been rough. A year filled with pain, sorrow, regret, loss, and failure. But with pain comes a beautiful thing: change. And boy have I been changing. In the wake of destruction, both self-induced and by the hands of others, comes peace and growth. No, this isn't me saying "Everything works out in the end"... This is me saying everything can get better if you put in the work to make it better. For years I would preach that to others, but little did I know I wasn't following those words myself.

Through constant therapy, trial, error, practice and medication I've learned to be mindful, present, and open with myself as well as others. I've cultivated a job that I love that allows me to help people, a collective that allows me and others to be creative, and a family that has incredible amounts of staying power. Do I have everything I want? No. Am I completely better? No. Do I have regrets? Yes. Am I still working on myself? Absolutely.

The thing we have to remember is that we are imperfect. And even with all the change in the world, we're still going to do dumb shit time to time, but by being present and mindful of ourselves and others, we can do our best to give ourselves the tools to reduce the bad times.

This record was created as a coping mechanism. To grieve, to apologize, to reduce harm, to write a happy ending for once... this record exists as a bookend to a very hard year. To not look back on the past with hate and regret, but to look forward to the future with love and hope.

Be grateful for what you are, and realize that you have the power to write your own ending. Do the best you can, because your best is all you got.

credits

released December 16, 2023

Weftin - Vox / Guitar / Bass / Drums / Mandolin / Production

Dan Cimino - Mixing / Mastering / Production

Album artwork by Meridith Goldberg

Special Thanks to: Sarah Jane Fournier, Josh and Kelsey Dubin, James Fasulo, Fione Tsatskin, Shawn Meilicke, Jess Graff, Christopher Escalante, Liz Contessa, Dan and Keri Cimino, Rachel and Shawn Gerboc, Jess and Ox Grossman, Skagazine, Mikey Thomas, Ferris, Lacey, Annabelle, and Elliot Denequolo, Anton and Amy Major, Casey and Erin Eastmond, Kerwin Ortega, Bret Calder, Danielle Lussier, Juan Anaya, Joey Sabina, Arielle Seltzer, Frank "Richie" DeFabritis, Kyle and Kelly Johnson, Laura, Allie, and Carla Conely, Ollie Ratcliffe, Terry Smith, Vero De Hart, Andrew Berg, Austin Harak, Riot Squad Media, Neil Patterson, Jesse and Veronica Sendejas, Koi Fish, Onion, Elliot Lozier, Will "Shaggy" Waters, Allie Wheeler, Kenny Hynes, Punkrock Swam, Bean Brigode, T.C Covell, Chet Knebel, Fred and Quinton Mohr, Tommy Smith, Fern Aguilar, Megan Schaper, Tim Plamondon, Parker Dean, Jake Dailey, Mark Brenzel, Joey Dowell, Dee Struct, Caprice and Sean McKeegan, Julia Cocuzza, Christian "Curt" Suzuki... anyone I forgot, I apologize, but you know who you are, and I'm very grateful for you.

Remember, you can be the change you're seeking.

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Weftin New Jersey

My name is Weftin - I make music, and I'm trying my best

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