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The Black Pill

by Weftin

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Lucy Vin
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jds1323
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Michael Hackett
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j0yfriend
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1.
Shepard Two-Tone 02:51
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Imma make this quick All y'all make me sick What was once a family Has gone and turned to shit Or maybe now I'm seeing through The facade, computer blue 8 bucks a month right out your hand To give a fuck about your band It's all about the numbers Cartoonish personality The dreams you had last night About the streams you want today And indie record labels bragging hard about their growth Protecting predators behind limelight (Here we go!) Fuck a genre bracket Why hold yourself down? I'll never understand it Don't ever chase the clout They'll claim they dig your sound But they'll be the first to break Stand in solidarity til they found you've made mistakes Ego and the cool kids table You can't sit with us A music dressed in parlor tricks Pretending it has guts Once a haven for outcasts, now they got their own club If you're any less than perfect Might as well just fuck off Fuck off Too bad, too bad Too weird to play, yet too rare to quit Wanna win? Hit F10 God, I love the internet Welcome to the glass house I hope you brought your stones Watching your tongue like the cops Man, this house is not a home I'm sick and tired of ska kids preaching about unity You say you're all inclusive But you don't participate What once had gave me hope Now just boils me with hate So take this as a diss And fade away with the wave Fuck off Two-tone, Too bad
2.
The Internet 03:53
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Mindlessly scrolling past dimwitted shit Like your cat on the sill, or your need-a-brain kid Shortly lived hobbies, and your gigantic fake tits Recipes, fake news lies, and some shit I won't buy Burn my eyes What have we become The internet has become our grave Cesspit propaganda parade Consume and build your brand with content Throw another torch on this pile of shit You need it Suicide: the code to the wifi So chime in Type your opinion (As if anyone even gives a fuck) This fodder feeds us and its nothing but filler Swipe ourselves into numb paradigm Endless hours squandered by ourselves Or fighting petty little battles And nobody won Un-plug Unplug We're eating ourselves alive There's only one escape To win back our brain Unplug I let it strangle me What was once a tool is now a weapon And we've turned it on ourselves There is no privacy If you didn't post about it Then you must be lying Everybody is a hero Or at least wants to be And they never read it all Your reputation is a sacred thing You'll do anything to keep it Hope you're good at lying Keyboard war till the end of our days My mind is overrun Take this life and delete
3.
AAAAHHHH!!!! 01:32
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Everybody's got a plan Like they got the upper hand Til they get their shit pushed in Everybody's feeling rad Like it can never turn bad Til somebody comes and burns it all Picture this You're feeling really pissed So you take it to the gram An attempt to cause a rift "Why me? Where did I go wrong?" And its all because you vented to world through a song "Fuck the cops Fuck the law We keep eachother safe!" Til you're wrong "Fuck the cops Fuck the law We keep eachother safe!" Now you're gone Let's see How much trouble can ya brew This time in a minute and a half Or two Keep to yourself And to a couple close few But in the eye of the public They say "I can't be with you" System fucked You'll never get a breath If you didn't stab first Then you're in dead last Don't forget The internet is true And everybody everywhere Knows everything about you What's the point of an exile If nobody's gonna seek the truth? What's the point of evidence If we take what is just assumed? Cast away from the lackluster They're all breakin the same old ground Keep walking on, don't ever stop Let the truth speak for itself
4.
Terms / Conditions 03:44
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Was it the car, the girl, the band, the lies, or the ultimate betrayal? Was it the tour, the fuck, those "friends" of yours, or the drugs that lined your table? Living your life in fear to speak your mind, pretending to fit right in Or your childhood you never bring up Because the thought of it brings you tears Drop the act like the curtain call that cancel culture couldn't befall They acted like family all along The selfish lie that threatened it all It wanted to CRASH AND BURN IT ALL THROWN OVERBOARD TO SAVE THE SHIP PLAY ALONG FAKE THE EVIDENCE THE UTMOST SACRED THING TO SAVE OUR REPUTATION But this song ain't about that! To study dark, to be alone To be evolved, you must cocoon To gain the knowledge, apologize The trauma within you must resolve Explore, drop the fickleness and try another door Exempt from nothing like everybody Mental ego Impervious no more Drop dead, not the way that you think Searching for those white doves I'm a eunuch in debt And I'm breaking these thoughts down Bit by bit Meet the beast Break the bread Breaking myself down Bit by bit Meet the beast Break the bread Nothing comes from nothing And nothing Is too late to become What you should have been All along Grow tiny seed To sprout, you have to feed Brave the weather, grow the timber Let the breeze in Grow tiny seed To learn you need to read Brave the weather, Grow forever If alls well, ends well Nothing ever comes to your fruition The garden doesn't come with terms and conditions I've tried To let it ride There's scars under my skin Where their claws dug in I must Be better Than my mistakes I must Be better Than my shortcomings I must be better Than the trauma felt I must be better Than the hand I'm dealt
5.
Lie Down & Rot 04:31
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What's broken cannot be fixed Set to fail, systematic What a life spent, or rather lack there of Destiny set, watch as we lie down and... Lie down and... Rot Pathetic roulette of genetics The hand we're dealt will not suffice Born too early and too late to reap the benefits Taxed at every corner, didn't even ask for this SHIT Alive But at what cost? Repugnant mortal shell String me up and exit hell Repay everyone, the penultimate offering I am not worthy of living So I isolate Stay far from everyone Erase my name Cut out from reality You learn about yourself Stripping the layers away to reveal What's in your cells Square one has returned The box you left unchecked Loneliness, a new profession So let's get good at it All I am is All the wrongs that have lead me here All I am is what they wanted me to be All I am is All the wrongs that have lead me here All I am is what I did to fit right in I regret the path I took AND ALL THE FACES THAT I SMILED WITH What's broken cannot be fixed Set to fail, systematic What a life spent, or rather lack there of Destiny set, watch as we lie down and... Lie down and ROT ALL I AM IS ALL WRONG ALL I AM IS ALL WRONG TO THEM
6.
Black Pill 14:59
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I: Final Dose (Instrumental) II: Swallow Swallow hard, awaken me Eyes open for the very last time I dont know, I don't care how it ends Burn the book, this is the last page Torn out, burnt out, no plan It's not over cuz it never began System fucked, the lights been snuffed Dreams crushed, and what remains will never be the same I did this to myself But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any help at all The game we played, the cards were dealt I was all in and they tore me down Cut from the cloth, I was patched in Tattered from the start of this Boon to win All the secrets they held back And I know them all A chain only strong as it's weakest link ....and that's me Long nights spent envisioning death Spill my blood as way to forgive a friend But he's never coming back, they're all gone Silence tells it all, no phonecalls The repair cannot be made The damage been sustained The hell that I create What way to be Suffer eternally Help cannot heal Bleed internally Soulless and scared I accept my fate Goes to show just one mistake Can level a dream I'll fetch a casket It's time to sleep III: White Out There is no permanence The writing washes off the wall And yet, I feel This is once and for all I took action I've tried to stitch the wound These visions, pain driven I can't quell the ache Heart wrenched cries Love awry Words spoken Now nobodies on my side Fucked up life Severed all my ties Static mind Now I White Out What's there left to do other than map it out? Down to one last breath And then I'm tapping out The root of this is darker than the soil that it comes from The mother of experience The beating of her first son Cuz I got these genes as a hand-me-down, they've been around Cuz I got depression, ain't breaking any new ground Threw down All of my cards, the ones from their once had been A 2-7 offsuit till the fucking end I Cannot find Another reason to get out of bed I Cannot find Another reason To get out of my head I Cannot find Another reason To get out of bed I Cannot find Another reason To keep on living This way cannot be it They made us promises Though lies have veiled the way I think I get it This is my life I'm in control And it's up to me To cast the mold It's in my hands To make it fit And everything else Aint worth shit...At all Life may be pain But I am numb ...to all I may be numb But I can feel it all All... the time IV: The Comedown Life may be pain But I am numb I may be numb But I feel it all V: Black / Release My stomach is sick And it can't bear to be realistic And my lungs are sore They can't exhale any joy anymore And, my heart Yearning forth No more My hands are broken bloody They cannot clutch My feet are swollen ragged They hate to be as such But, my brain Yearns no more Cuz it knows There's Nothing Nothing Nothing to come next Black Just Black Black The Black Pill has been taken There's Nothing Nothing Nothing to come next Let Me Leave I dream Of a day You and I know eachother Again

about

The black pill... a depressive mindset of nihilistic doom; the idea that the system we live in is broken beyond repair, the life we lead is tarnished permanently, and there is no hope.

This is a mindset I've carried for the past year. Try as I might, I continued to fall off the rails, hurt the people around me, destroy my body, and sink deeper into depression. The temporary release of pain that came from drugs, alcohol, and pornography was exactly what was breeding it... a vicious cycle, and as fuel to the fire, everyone who I didn't hurt saw me as an irredeemable waste. Everyone who claimed they "loved" me turned on a dime and left, without any confrontation or explanation... but it wasn't a mystery why.

So what should I do? Kill myself?
No. I don't have the balls to do that... I've expressed that before.

I isolated, went quiet, and just... thought.
I thought long and hard. About everything. I knew I needed to change. Now.

My ego popped like a fucking balloon... or rather, a bomb. But in a way, that was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I could see EVERYTHING clearly. And I took action the best I could. I sought after the help I knew I needed.

So here we are, a year later, and things have changed. Some better, some worse, but I'm still here. Still putting in work. Still having these hard conversations with my therapist, my support group, and myself. The people that decided to stick around are the best friends I've ever had, and the music I've written in what has easily been the lowest point in my life speaks for itself. I feel no need to hide. I feel no need to filter my thoughts.

I am still broken, and still filled with deep regret, pain, and woe
But I'm stronger

Just because this life is broken, doesn't mean that I have to be.

credits

released November 16, 2023

Weftin - Vox / Guitar / Bass / Drums / Saxophone / Piano / Production

Dan Cimino - Production/Engineering/Mastering

Tracks 1, and 3 were recorded in a hotel room in Guarapuava, Brazil

Track 5 was recorded in the Boston Logan International Airport

Track 6 was written and recorded as a sleep deprivation experiment in Manchester, NJ


Special Thanks to: Sarah Jane Fournier, Josh and Kelsey Dubin, James Fasulo, Fione Tsatskin, Shawn Meilicke, Jess Graff, Christopher Escalante, Liz Contessa, Dan and Keri Cimino, Rachel and Shawn Gerboc, Jess and Ox Grossman, Skagazine, Mikey Thomas, Ferris, Lacey, Annabelle, and Elliot Denequolo, Anton and Amy Major, Casey and Erin Eastmond, Kerwin Ortega, Bret Calder, Danielle Lussier, Juan Anaya, Joey Sabina, Arielle Seltzer, Frank "Richie" DeFabritis, Kyle and Kelly Johnson, Laura, Allie, and Carla Conely, Ollie Ratcliffe, Terry Smith, Vero De Hart, Andrew Berg, Austin Harak, Riot Squad Media, Neil Patterson, Jesse and Veronica Sendejas, Koi Fish, Onion, Elliot Lozier, Will "Shaggy" Waters, Allie Wheeler, Kenny Hynes, Punkrock Swam, Bean Brigode, T.C Covell, Chet Knebel, Fred and Quinton Mohr, Tommy Smith, Fern Aguilar, Megan Schaper, Tim Plamondon, Parker Dean, Jake Dailey, Mark Brenzel, Joey Dowell, Dee Struct, Caprice and Sean McKeegan, Julia Cocuzza, Christian "Curt" Suzuki... anyone I forgot, I apologize, but you know who you are, and I'm very grateful for you.

Remember, you can be the change you're seeking.

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Weftin New Jersey

My name is Weftin - I make music, and I'm trying my best

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